Upper Level Gumby

The Rematch.

2011-06-17T23:50:00.000-07:00

One week later. Armed with beta regarding the moderate descent on the south side of the peak and haunted by how close we got last time, Dacus and I went back to the Pfeiff.

Eric's skill with a camera tells the story.

Early light takes the sting out of the bitchy sidehill around Pink Pine Ridge.

The East Ridge. Our ascent line, and a worthy descent for the future.

Crampons on. Chill out, don't stumble.

The top. And the 3:00 a.m. start taking its toll.

Joy.

Heading back toward beers and donuts at the truck.

June effing FOURTH!

2011-06-05T22:55:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, Eric Dacus and I made a run for the East Ridge of the Pfeifferhorn. I was feeling cocky, with thoughts like "if the coverage is good I bet we'll be able to ski from the summit" keeping me awake the night before. Despite it being JUNE EFFING FOURTH, coverage was not the issue . . .

Gear pre-packed, alarm at 3:00 a.m. A quart of peppermint tea and a protein shake. Pick up Eric, rip up the canyon, and get moving.

We made good time to the ridge below the peak.

Ultimately, though, unexpectedly firm snow and an unexpectedly steep (or was it just steep-looking?) summit ridge stole our nerve. Our wings clipped, we skied 4000' of vertical back to the truck.

It was the right call at the time. But the ambition remains--gotta go back.

Back to basics.

2010-09-29T23:05:00.000-07:00

After failing to post anything for the past two months, one has to ask: Why the hell do I have a blog?

Because I need an outlet for all the random crap bouncing around inside my head. Such as the omnipresent hum of "I live in the sickest place ever." Example #74 of why I feel that way -- sunset on the Shoreline Trail.

The Shoreline: so close, so taken for granted, so awesome.

Michael Corleone had it right.

2010-07-22T10:48:00.000-07:00

"Just when I thought I was out . . . they pull me back in."

After the Wahsatch Steeplechase*, I came to grips with the fact that I wouldn't be able to run the Speedgoat. My knee was tweaked and I was on the RICE-train to rehab-ville. No training = no 50k.

And I was okay with that. No more step ups in the corner, no more effing sandbag get ups, no more worrying about cramping up. My running "season" was over. I would just ride my bike and wait for dry land to begin.

But then Karl threw a wrench in the works. And now I have a whole year to think about step ups, cramping, posterior chain . . . ugghhhh. Who needs a drink?

Rollover? Next year?! No, you see, I was thinking that I wouldn't . . . never mind. Shit.

* Finished 7 minutes faster than last year, but was on pace for much better than that. Despite the geeky socks and the geeky pills, I cramped at mile ten and hobbled out the last seven. Fail.

The beginning of the end.

2010-07-12T09:47:00.000-07:00

I just joined Facebook.

No good can come from this.

UPDATE:
I've been using Facebook for about 5 minutes and I'm already annoyed as shit. Grrrr.

SECOND UPDATE:
My brother and I have become Facebook Friends. And I haven't gotten fired yet. So far, so good.

Crushed. Soundly.

2010-05-30T22:45:00.000-07:00

This time last year I was skiing the Hotlum-Wintun Ridge on Mt. Shasta under ideal conditions. It was a spectacular trip. So good in fact, that it created a karmic debt that had to be repaid at some point. The debt came due.

Yesterday we skied a nice 3000' on Mt. Hood. The weather was pretty nice, the snow was a tad wind-jacked. Hey, it can't always be perfect.

But today we got crushed trying to reach the Southwest Chutes on Mt. Adams. Distance, lots of elevation gain, a pair of demonic boots, and some serious effing weather . . . the PNW was too much for me today.

There's another 4000' of mountain up there . . . somewhere. The suck-o-meter went into the red zone shortly after this was taken.

Thirty three years.

2010-05-17T07:56:00.000-07:00

I'm 33 years old today. There is nothing redeeming about your 33rd birthday. Usually I wallow in some kind of "I'm running out of time, my best years are slipping away" bullshit, but a birthday message from my in-laws snapped me out of it this year.

Rich:

Wow. You are 33 already. By that age, Christ had figured out how to walk on water, raise the dead and turn water into wine. But don't feel inadequate. He also pissed off so many people that they hung him on a cross, and, besides, he couldn't ski worth a damn.

Happy Birthday.

Well said. So here's to being nice enough to others to keep nails out of my wrists, and fit enough to ski better than a damn. Hell, maybe by the time I'm 34 I'll learn to pick up my uphill hand.

May 15 in the Uintas. The strategic use of backseat skiing is an underrated skill.

A vicious rip-off.

2010-05-12T10:53:00.000-07:00

I found this on Teton AT. I would feel worse about re-posting it here -- it seems fairly plagiarific to do so -- but it was crafted by Tom Diegel, an excellent local skier and all around good guy. And it really sums up some of my frusrtation this time of year. Enjoy.

In-flight wifi . . .

2010-05-10T19:53:00.000-07:00

is amazing.

I'm somewhere over Wyoming, returning from a trip home to see la mia famiglia. Might as well post another teaser from Deseret Peak.

That familiar feeling.

2010-04-30T12:54:00.000-07:00

It's equal parts weariness and anxiety. Weariness because I'm falling behind at the firm and I can see the late nights and weekends -- at my desk -- in my future. Anxiety because it's snowing. Where am I going to ski? Who is available for partners? Should we spin tram laps or hike something loooong? A lot of new snow, but not much wind, so . . . And so on, and so on.

The anxiety is a nice problem to have. The weariness, on the other hand . . .

From a recent trip to Deseret Peak. More to follow . . .

I aspire to 1993.

2010-04-08T21:53:00.000-07:00

Part of my obsession with skiing is the constant reassessment of my "goals in skiing." Perfecting a GS turn, taking air at speed, skiing the Alps . . . skiing the Alps well. All of these are among The Goals.

But most of all, I aspire to ski as well as the stunt skiers in Aspen Extreme.

They rip 200cm GS skis in variable snow (to put it kindly), they float a classic "extreme" tip cross off the cat track, and they apparently have ACL's made of steel, 'cuz they backseat everything and ski away.

Maybe -- if I stay committed, stay fit, and keep working at it -- maybe some day I'll ski as well as Dexter and TJ.

The Luck of the Draw.

2010-04-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

I thought I had timed it right. I bailed on work last week and I skied the four best days of my year -- in a row. We floated through an effortless Thirds to Eagle's on Thursday; arc'd hero snow on Baldy at The Bird on Friday; ripped an untracked Lone Pine and a windbuffed West Rustler on Saturday; and then porpoised through fluffy craziness in Gunsight and the Backside on Sunday. It was as good a string of days as I've ever had.

And then we received another four feet of snow. LCC didn't open yesterday. The lifts at Alta never turned. Today is going to be epic . . . at my effing desk.

From this morning at The Bird, 'cuz Alta's website is down. Probably buried under too much snow.
I hate everyone. Perhaps this guy the most.

My new idol.

2010-03-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

He can pull a lincoln loop on a jet ski, he rides a mean mechanical bull, and he has great taste in tattoos.

Yes, it's official, my new idol is: the monkey sock puppet from the Kia Sorrento commercial.

Mr. Monkey was nearly beaten out by The Most Interesting Man in the World. But the Monkey has a kick ass theme song, so he gets the nod.

Praying for the Holy Grail of Snow Conditions . . .

2010-03-12T13:59:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, a group of us were skiing at Alta on a day in March. It was a storm day and an honest 6-10" had fallen by early afternoon. As we hopped on Wildcat for a lap in the 'Ho, the liftie pulled the "Closed" sign across the lift line behind us. At 2:30 p.m. "That's odd," we thought.

Before we heard the thunder, we heard the lift cables sizzling. No shit -- sizzling. And then came the lightning. The liftie at the top of Wildcat was abandoning ship by the time we got to the top. Later, we would hear rumors that the hippy in the top shack at Supreme was on his megaphone yelling "Save yourselves!!" A quick run down Collins Face and we retreated to the GMD for a pitcher. The storm had gone nuclear, the lifts were closed, and people were headed for their cars. We assumed our day was over.

But is wasn't. An hour later, the front passed and the lifts started turning again. And it was ON. Two inches of windbuffed graupel coated everything. The High-T was effortless and West Rustler was buffed-out silk-tastic-ness. Everyone who had enough vision (read: luck) to wait it out spent the next hour going very, very F-A-S-T.

Why bring this up now? Because this:

sounds like an afternoon of this:

Graupel a.k.a. silky ball bearings. Pure speed.

Keep your fingers crossed . . .

The Age Old Question.

2010-03-01T20:36:00.000-08:00

If you could be any kind of pro athlete, what would you be?

After watching the Olympics for the last two weeks, "alpine ski racer" is an intriguing choice. Alpine racing has a rich history of hairball competitors (see Exhibit A, below) and exotic locations. And you go really effing fast. What could be better? Well . . .

Exhibit A: Bill Johnson may have valued speed above all else. It eventually cost him, but not before he won gold in Sarajevo. A total stud.

MotoGP Racer. Hairball characters, exotic locations, and a throttle. And you go really, REALLY effing fast.

Il Dottore: Valentino Rossi. He has side burns, I have side burns. Coincidence?

If I could do it all over again -- I'd be an engineer. But I'd still dream of being a MotoGP racer.

Grrrrrr...

2010-03-01T20:26:00.000-08:00

My shoulder is still f*cked. I rested it for a full four weeks, but . . . I may not have been entirely consistent with the prescribed physical therapy. And I'm pretty sure that my (now failed) Lent-time resolution of doing 100 push ups a day didn't help.

So now I'm back to wincing whenever I reach over my head with my left hand. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Frickin' Lent...

2010-02-17T21:49:00.000-08:00

Every year at this time the vestiges of my childhood surface as I try to commit to giving up something for Lent. I have failed for as long as I can remember. But this was going to be THE year. The year that I did something drastic, something heretofore unheard of. I was going to quit drinking until Easter.

To which Grom said something like "you're an idiot." And he has a point. To poach a great line from Roger Dodger: "You drink that drink! Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years. What do you think, you're going to sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel?"

So, as Grom suggested, rather than giving something up, I'm taking something on. 100 push ups a day until April 4th. Simple, boring -- but at least I'll be able to enjoy a few bottles of pinot along the way.

Looking forward.

2010-02-14T17:32:00.000-08:00

I've been in an athletic slump lately. I'm coming to the realization that my skis are too stiff for me, and I've been spotty at best in terms of working out. In an effort to re-energize, here is a list of upcoming events for which I've registered -- or repeatedly shot my mouth off about doing.

Wasatch Powderkeg: Dr. Off the Couch guilted me into this. I was looking for a way to bag it, but then The Wee One said she would do it with me -- in costume. Now I'm psyched.

Skiing Mt. Adams: Supposedly the second best ski line in the continental U.S., after the Hotlum-Winton, the Southwest Chutes on Mt. Adams are becoming an obsession.

The SW Chutes are the lines spilling off the false summit on the right side of the photo . . . I think.

Wahsatch Steeplechase: This year's goal is the same as last year's -- run across the line.

Speedgoat 50k: 32 miles and 10,000 feet each of ascent and descent. It's basically two Wahsatch Steeplechases, back to back, at elevation. What could go wrong?

Mid Mountain Marathon: I expect my rematch with this mofo to be the hardest of them all, but it's worth it for the downhill finish -- and the two free Heinekens.

Comedy in unlikely places.

2010-02-01T12:46:00.000-08:00

From the gym's website:

Grrrrrrrrr.

2010-01-30T11:50:00.000-08:00

Working on the weekend -- while sometimes necessary -- always blows. Today is no exception.

I woke up in a toxic mood, so I headed to the gym for a beat down before settling in at my desk.

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 reps of:
Deadlifts @ 185#
Box jumps @ 36"
KB floor presses @ 35#
Sand bag get ups @ 80#
37:48

A quick trip to the Bay Leaf for some hash and eggs, and the suck begins . . .

"What then, when ridges are not safe?"

2010-01-28T13:32:00.000-08:00

I feel compelled to keep ringing this bell:

THE BACKCOUNTRY IS AN EFFING NIGHTMARE RIGHT NOW.

When an experienced backcountry professional gets ripped off a 20 degree ridge line, it's time to crawl under the bed and hide. I'm jonesing to tour, but I can wait it out. I went to the gym yesterday; I think I'll go for a run today. The mountains will be there.

"It's all about us" -- a sad part II.

2010-01-27T13:57:00.000-08:00

ksl.com - Man trapped in avalanche near Solitude

Fuck.

"It's about us."

2010-01-26T09:50:00.000-08:00

Most of us know enough to keep a lid on it when the danger is high -- when it's been nuking for a couple of days and the wind hasn't quit, we stay away from uncontrolled avy terrain. But what about times of transition? It's been snowing hard for the last few hours, or the storm cycle ended yesterday . . . That's when most of us are capable of doing something stupid.

This excellent graphic from Drew Hardesty at the Utah Avalanche Center lays it out. Human factors -- it's all about us.

Keep your head up. Everywhere.

2010-01-25T09:53:00.000-08:00

I had planned to write something about the fantastic skiing from the weekend, the great time I had ripping around with The Wee One, and the stereotype-defying peeps I met in the gondola at the 'Basin.

But then everything came crashing down.

The season's first avalanche fatality, just outside of Snowbasin. Rumors of Baldy sliding to the ground -- en masse -- at Alta. Not to mention the three Alta Ski Patrol members who took a nasty ride in Gunsight. West Monitor and West Desolation Ridge slid 1/2 mile wide each, with crowns ranging from two to ten feet.

It's gnarly out there right now. Everywhere. Let's all keep our heads up and take a deep breath.

No good can come from this. Photo courtesy of Brett Kobernik and the Utah Avalanche Center.

Long day.

2010-01-20T22:15:00.000-08:00

Cooking dinner at 11:15 p.m. means this has been a long day. Nonetheless, I made it to the gym.

10 rounds
Mini leg blaster (with 10 squat jumps instead of 5)
3 x Scotty Bob @ 25 lbs
23:58

Shit got real in round six. Luckily, I had Annie with me to shout encouragement.

"What's the matter, Sally? Are you getting tired? Pick it up!!"

SLC at its finest.

2010-01-19T11:40:00.000-08:00

The sun is shining in the valley. It's snowing in the mountains. This is why I live here.

The view from my office. Not bad.

It's time to re-engage.

2010-01-18T10:20:00.000-08:00

The air has been bad. The skiing has been so-so. I haven't been sleeping well. My shoulders hurt and my legs feel weak. All in all, the slump-o-meter has been in the red zone.

And then I walked into the gym and saw a local fire fighter doing a truly awful workout in full gear. It was somehow scary and inspiring at the same time, and it was enough to knock me out of my funk.

It's time to get back in the game.

A hard man doing a hard thing. And a prime example of why action sports photographers do no use the iPhone.

Re-emerging . . .

2009-12-25T10:19:00.000-08:00

My 24 days of nonstop work is over. I won't be able to completely shun the office for the next week, as I need to take care of some things on Monday. But I plan to re-emerge as my Former Self, and not the shell of it that I have been for the last month.

Step One: Go skiing.

Halfway there . . .

2009-12-12T13:51:00.000-08:00

Today is day 12 of what will be 24 days without a day off.

Am I psyched to be missing the first real storm of the season? No.

Am I staying fit? Yes.

Is this the kind of life I want to be leading? No.

Is this why they pay me to do what I do? Yes.

Is it worth it? Ask me in 12 days...

Moving in the right direction . . .

2009-12-05T12:49:00.000-08:00

It's snowing. Finally. Maybe by the time I get a day off -- just before Christmas -- the rocks and the ice will be covered. Between now and then, the challenge is to stay fit. And to get rid of the little rhinovirus bastards that have taken over my sinuses. We'll see how it goes.

Mmmmmm. Delicious.

2009-12-02T07:58:00.000-08:00

My whole milk consumption continues. I'm averaging about 1.5 gallons per week.

My cholesterol? Pffft. I'm sure it's fine.

This is why they pay me.

2009-12-01T11:26:00.000-08:00

It's the end of the billable year and all of my cases are going richter simultaneously -- which means three weeks of looooong days at a desk for the 'Gumby.

Which is probably okay for right now, because the mountains are fucked. A patchwork of ground-level-faceted-nastiness and cold, clear weather for the foreseeable future aren't offering much hope.

The horror continues . . .

That's not to say that I haven't been skiing. I have four days so far, and they've gone something like this.

Day 1: Skinned in the Uintas with The Wee One and The Furry Devil. Never took the skins off, even going downhill. A dee-licious pulled pork sandwich at the Samak Store eased the pain of the meager snow pack.

Day 2: Skinned at Alta. We took the skins off, but the stickiness of the man made snow made it hard to tell.

Day 3: Skinned into So Long at Alta. The skiing on So Long was actually very good. The exit out of Catherine's Area was ridiculous. And not in a good way.

Day 4: Skied firm groomers at Alta. It was great to ride lifts and comforting to have my alpine boots on again. The snow, however, was less than confidence inspiring. I was all gumby, and no upper level. Skied with the MeltonHibbs and Dr. G. They both made the ice look easy, which is remarkable given that the MeltonHibbs live in Fresyes, and Dr. G probably hasn't slept in six weeks. I was humbled.

Go see this. At night.

2009-11-20T20:49:00.000-08:00

There is a new mural -- and by "new" I mean "in a place where only decaying brick used to be" -- on the east side of the building where Este Downtown lives. You gotta see this at night. It's amazing.

A prime example of why art critics do not use the iPhone.

WHERE THE F@CK HAVE I BEEN?!

2009-11-18T08:08:00.000-08:00

Fair question. Well . . .

1. I've been working waaaaaay too much. The cases I'm on are going richter and year end is coming. Two good reasons to bill as much as possible.

2. I've been trying to stay fit. Rumor has it that it will actually snow in the Wasatch soon. (Real snow, not this TG-weak-layer-waiting-to-fuck-us bad dream that we've been having.) So I've been trying -- and failing -- to follow MtnAthlete's dryland progression.

3. I've been drinking a lot of whole milk. Yes, you zone/paleo fuckers, whole milk. About a pint a day, and I feel great. My cholesterol remains a wild card.

4. I've been traveling. First to Hell on Earth (read: Phoenix) for a deposition, and then to the Tri-State Area (read: hell on earth) to visit family. Which brings me to . . .

My father was a pharmacist, then a sales rep for a major pharmaceutical company, and is now a pharmacist again. He has a sense of humor about it.

A New Experiment: Week 4.

2009-11-01T12:46:00.000-08:00

I finished my 4-week experiment with MtnAthlete a few weeks ago. The links below provide a summary of the final three workouts of the work-capacity cycle.
Monday (I needed 43 sprints and 39 sandbag get ups; I managed the former and failed the latter.)
Wednesday
Friday (31:58 -- I feel like I killed it on this one.)

The Scientist and I rewarded ourselves with an eating challenge -- 12 cake donuts for time. The Scientist crushed it in 23 minutes. I managed 9 donuts and most of a half-gallon of chocolate milk before my preternatural fear of vomiting shut me down.

The starting line . . .

Right about now we called our buddy Jason, who was attending a nutrition certification in Bozeman. The irony . . .

Nearing the end . . .

A little of this and that . . .

2009-10-28T21:20:00.001-07:00

1. My ring has reappeared.

Solid.

2. Coolest. Mug. Ever.

It doesn't hurt that [NAME REMOVED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY] stole this from the Vertical Diner because I was too much of a sally to do it myself.

3. Annie is still cute.

Watching The O.C. together.

4. Looks like my 09/10 Season will begin in t-minus 70 hours . . .

Just enough to hide the knee-shredding rocks . . .

Mea Culpa

2009-10-24T10:38:00.000-07:00

I've been slacking, and I apologize.

When I started this nonsense, I was disciplined about updating this thing every 6 out of 7 days. I gained a loyal following of about 3.5 readers, and I was amazed to find that some even left comments. But I've gotten lazy, and I've let them down.

I promise to do better. I can't talk any more about what I actually do for a living because clients and partners don't have a sense of humor about associates spewing sensitive information on The Internets. And I won't ditch all the geeky Crossfit/MtnAthlete/boring stuff -- it's a current infatuation of mine, and at least 1.3 of you give a damn about it. But I can wrap it all in more pictures, more diverse content, and more frequent posts that up to 5.6 people may actually read. For example:

If I'm ever asked to speak at a college commencement, this will be my audio-visual aid.

Wait for it . . .

Freedom is a 30' rope.

2009-10-15T22:10:00.001-07:00

Annie needed to stretch her legs -- and I needed to be able to get her back if she decided to bolt. Thirty feet of 7mm perlon and a carabiner later, we both had what we needed.

The Furry Satan learning to follow the trail.

A New Experiment: Week 3

2009-10-12T22:06:00.000-07:00

The Mountain Athlete experiment continues. Week 3 wore me down.

Monday:
Warm up: 5 Rounds
Mini Leg Blaster
Rope Climb

Training:
(1) 5 Rounds
10x Front Squat @ 95#
2 minute step up to 20" box, unloaded
30 seconds rest

(2) 5 Rounds
10x Power Clean @ 95#
Run 400m
30 seconds rest
(Looks easy right? It wasn't.)

Wednesday:
Loooooong night at the firm = no morning trip to the gym. I took a couple days off.

Friday:
Warm up: 4x Barbell Complex + HAM - Hip Mobility Drill

Training:
(1) Work up to 1RM Push Press (160 PR)

(2) 6 Rounds
2x Push Press @ 135
3x Hip Swivel - (Lay on your back arms spread wide, palms pressed into floor, knees up and vertical, feet raised off the floor your lower legs are parallel to the floor. Swivel your hips so your knee touches the floor, keeping your palms pressed flat, then swivel to the other side. This is 1 rep.)

(3) 5 Rounds
5x Mr. Spectacular
Tire Drag
5x Horizontal Pull up (Hang horizontal from a barbell or rings, feet on floor or box, and pull your chest to the bar)
Effing tire drags!! So hard.

Saturday: I needed to make up Wednesday's misery, so I headed to the gym . . .
Warm Up:
4x Medicine Ball Complex with HUG stretch between each round

Training:
(1) 5 Rounds for Reps
60 seconds 25m sprint
60 seconds rest
42 (Phew. One more than last time.)

**** rest 5 minutes ****

(2) 10 minute sandbag get up for reps (80lbs).
37 (Seven more than last time. Moving in the right direction.)

**** rest 5 minutes ****

(3) 10 Rounds
5x Pull ups
10x Dips
15x Push ups
(I quit after five rounds. I'm a loser . . .)

I'm an idiot . . .

2009-10-08T09:21:00.000-07:00

I have officially lost my wedding band.

The cool thing is, after e-mailing a plea to the entire firm to help me look for it, I realized that I am in good company. Here are a few of the responses I received:

"Good luck finding it! For my brother in law's third ring my sis had his name and phone number engraved inside."

"Haven’t seen it, but don’t feel too badly. My husband left his in the hotel room the night of our wedding."

"Rich, don’t feel bad. I lost my wedding ring in Japan 14 years ago, and I’m still looking for it." (I feel compelled to get the story behind this one.)

But this one, from the secretary down the hall, takes the cake.

"I sold it for a 30 pack of Bud Dry."

A New Experiment: Week Two.

2009-10-04T17:51:00.000-07:00

The Mountain Athlete experiment continues . . .

Monday:
Warm up: 4x Barbell Complex

Training:
(1) Work up to 1RM Dead Lift
285 (PR)

(2) 6 Rounds
2x Dead Lift @ 85% 1RM (245)
SAM - Shoulder Mobility Drill

(3) 5 Rounds
6x Bench Press (95 -- yes, benching is a weak spot for me)
Rope Climb
5x Y+L Shoulder Strength Mobility Exercise

(4) 5 Rounds
Lunge Lap holding kettlebells (5 lunges each leg)
Tire Drag (weighted with 70 lbs -- much more diffcult)
HUG - Hip Mobility Drill

Wednesday:
Warm Up: 5 Rounds
5x Burpees
3x Jeremy Special
Instep Stretch

Training:
(1) 6 Rounds
Run 400m (I rowed a 500m instead 'cuz it was cold and raining . . .)
50 Step ups (40lbs)

(2) 5 Rounds
10x Slashers
10x GHD Sit ups
10x GHD Back Extensions
15x Toes to Sky
SAM - Shoulder Mobility Drill

Friday:
Warm Up: 4x Medicine Ball Complex with HUG stretch between each round

Training:
(1) 5 Rounds for Reps
60 seconds 25m sprint
60 seconds rest
41 (Phew. If I had failed to beat my last effort -- 40 -- I would have owed a sixth round. Mountain Athlete refers to this as "adding jeopardy." It works.)

**** rest 5 minutes *****

(2) 10 minute sandbag get up for reps (80lbs).
30. (Jeopardy applied to this as well. Thankfully, I easily eclipsed my last effort of 18. Which makes me think that I really mailed it in last time . . . .)

**** rest 5 minutes *****

(3) 8 Rounds
5x Scotty Bob (25lbs)
Rope Pull
7x Ring Dips (I used a band, because I am weak . . . for now.)

Better living through chemistry . . .

2009-09-29T20:40:00.001-07:00

Annie was driving me nuts, so I laced her puppy chow with valium . . .

Just kidding. Mostly.

Dogs love dirt.

2009-09-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

Hi. My name is Annie. I'm about to roll around in this dirt.

I'm a dusty mess.

A New Experiment: Week One.

2009-09-27T20:40:00.001-07:00

I've been cruising Mountain Athlete for a while. Jason, The Scientist, and I decided to give it an honest try with a four-week work capacity cycle. Week one did not disappoint.

Monday:
Warm up:
4 Rounds
Medicine Ball Complex @ 20#
10x Push ups

Training:
(1) 5 Rounds for Reps
60 seconds 25m sprint
60 seconds rest
Total reps: 40

(2) 10 minute sandbag get up for reps (80lbs)
Total reps: 18 (There's definitely an efficient way to do these. I chose an inefficient way.)

(3) 10 Rounds
5x Pull ups
10x Dips
15x Push ups
(ugghhh...no fun...)

Wednesday:
Warm up: 4 Rounds
Barbell Complex
HAM - Hip Mobility Drill

(1) Work up to 1RM Front Squat
205 PR

(2) Work up to 1RM Push Press
150

(3) 5 Rounds
5x Kettlebell Floor Press (16kg)
7 rope pull ups
5x Shoulder Scarecrow

(4) 5 Rounds
5x Sandbag Clean & Squat
Tire Drag
HUG - Hip Mobility Drill
(Everything was going well until this complex. Then the lights got dim...)

Friday:
Warm up:
10 minute Kettlebell Complex (16kg)

(1) 8 Rounds for Time
50x Step ups (40lbs)
10x Push ups
5x Ankles-to-Bar
29:40

(2) 5 Rounds
10x GHD Situp
5x Cauldron
10x Ab Wheel

And the winner is . . .

2009-09-22T14:54:00.001-07:00

ANNIE. By a landslide. This little pup is so friendly and cute that she sold herself.

A rare moment of calm in the parking lot.

This is more typical. And it's Example Number Two of why wildlife photographers do not use the iPhone.

Cast your votes . . .

2009-09-18T08:34:00.000-07:00

Athletically, I've been doing jack nothing this week. The MMM beat me up. I was feeling good on Wednesday and went to the gym to do Death by Ten Meters -- one lazy performance later, I left limping. My left leg is still jacked up from the marathon. And so I've been spending time on more important matters.

FINDING A DOG.

The Wee One and I are looking for a dog. Here are the current contenders. We haven't met any of them yet, so we're trying to divine as much as we can from crappy pictures.

Posha: 2 years old, just had a litter of puppies, no known issues.

Annie: 14 weeks old, lab/pit mix, no known issues. Pegs the CuteMeter.

Billy: Such a good looking pit. 6 months old. Apparently he's a little p-s-y-c-h-o. But he looks so good.

5:10:06

2009-09-14T08:17:00.000-07:00

I finished the Mid Mountain Marathon in 5 hours, 10 minutes, and 6 seconds. While 98th out of 115 men is nothing to broadcast on The Internets, I'm okay with it. I worked hard, I managed not to cramp until I crossed the line, and most importantly -- I finished. Mission accomplished.

26.2 miles is a long way. The debilitating tightness in my calves and hamstrings is a nice reminder that I may want to stick to races in the 16-18 mile range. In those, right about the time the little voice in your head starts to say "I'm kinda over this," you turn downhill and run for the finish. But I've already shot my mouth off about longer endeavors next summer.

Cue Jason yelling SPEEDGOAT!

Mixed results.

2009-09-10T08:07:00.000-07:00

The office makes me stir crazy -- especially after a week on the beach -- and so I bolted to the gym for a little "fun" yesterday at lunch. There's a thought that's been nagging me for a couple of months now: in terms of short intense efforts -- perhaps anything less than an hour -- I've lost fitness. Yesterday's trip to the gym proves it.

3 rounds, for time
400m run
25 burpees
16:02

That's downright slow. But here's the good news: I feel like I've developed the ability to cover a lot of terrain rather efficiently. Sixteen miles and few thousand feet of gain used to sound like an all day affair -- now I can knock it off between breakfast and lunch. And all of this raises two more questions:

1. How much farther can I go? Saturday will give me a clue about that. And, more importantly . . .

2. How will all of this translate in the winter?

'Cuz that's really what matters.

Tapering towards a beating . . .

2009-09-09T10:09:00.000-07:00

The Mid Mountain Marathon is this Saturday. I'm not sure that drinking my weight in Pacifico last week will help my time, but I'm pretty sure I can finish -- if I don't cramp, and if I can shake the GI bug that I brought back from Mexico. There are plenty of aid stations and I've recon'd the first and last thirds of the course. I just need to start slow and crawl into my own little pain cave once I reach Red Pine Lodge.

Check out the elevation profile. Lots of leg-frying little ups and downs. The descent at the end is (comparatively) a welcome relief.

Yesterday's "fun"
Recovery WOD -- three sets of 10-12 [GHD sit ups, back extensions, pull ups, push ups, KB swings], not for time.

Monday's "fun"

I ran the last 8.4 miles of the MMM course -- or at least what I thought were the last 8.4 miles of the MMM course. I got suckered into following the orange blazes for the Park City Point to Point MTB race -- which includes a gnarly multi-mile climb -- and ended going farther, and finishing more beat up, than I wanted to. 9ish miles, two-ish hours, too much climbing.

Sayulita.

2009-09-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

Here is all that you need to know about Sayulita: GO THERE. The Wee One and I will surely go back. But not in August.

The view from our private terrace. We spent hours watching the surf. In part because it was beautiful, and in part because it was SO EFFING HOT.

We nicknamed this "The Pit." It is a basketball/badminton court below the terrace and it was an effing furnace. For some reason, The Wee One decided it was the best spot to do burpees and jump rope. I decided it was the best place to contemplate death by dehydration.

WTF? The only thing to do a pull up on was a concrete beam that was (a) a little less than stout, and (b) topped with frayed electrical wires. My overheated brain decided that slinging a towel over that same beam would eliminate the simultaneous risks of being electrocuted and crushed by falling debris. Right.

A unexpected bonus of visiting Sayulita is making friends with stray dogs. I know, I know -- sounds weird. But these dogs were strangely endearing. This guy followed me around for three days. He never begged, never barked; just followed me around with a huge grin on his face. I kept trying to think of a way to smuggle him home in my carry-on.

A near hit.

2009-08-31T07:54:00.000-07:00

George Carlin (RIP) was fond of criticizing the use of the term "near miss" to describe a mid-air collision that was narrowly avoided. If you nearly miss, Mr. Carlin astutely observed, it means that you actually hit. A "near hit" would be a close miss.

All Category 4 of Hurricane Jimena is set to make landfall at Cabo San Lucas this time tomorrow. The Wee One and I are flying to Sayulita today. Let's call it a near hit.

Aint she purty?

Too much to do, too little time.

2009-08-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a deposition in L.A., I have a million tasks to complete before heading to Sayulita, I'm getting effing married in four effing days, and I'm trying to stay fit.

'Cuz the MMM is out there. Looming.

Monday's "fun"
I apparently forgot to pack my tiger with my blazer. While in L.A. I did ten rounds of Cindy, not for time. Even worse . . .

This morning's "fun"
I woke up sore from the ten measly rounds of Cindy. So I did a sissified version of my go-to WOD:
7 rounds of
7 cleans with a 50 lb dumb bell
14 sit ups
(No tiger = no time)

Sussing out the MMM course.

2009-08-23T13:28:00.000-07:00

The plan for Saturday was to run the last third of the MMM course. Then, as we were driving to The Canyons at 8:30 a.m., I remembered that the gondola does not begin running until 10:00 a.m. Rats.

So we switched gears and headed to Silver Lake Lodge at Deer Valley to run the first third of the course. While sitting at El Chubasco several hours later, I kept having the same two thoughts: (1) the first third of the course is hilly; and (2) I need to start nice and slow.

We did somewhere between 16 and 18 miles in 3 hours and 20 minutes. My legs felt stiff and weird for most of the morning, and we did a fair amount of standing around, futzing with packs, and walking. Race day should go better.

Working hard.

2009-08-20T20:26:00.001-07:00

Yesterday's sprints crushed me. I managed to drag my carcass to the gym and put in a respectable effort. Rest tomorrow, and then a nice 17-miler on the MMM course on Saturday. Right . . .

Tonight's "fun"
Back squats
20 @ 150lbs

Then

3 rounds for time of
500m row
10 pull ups
10 wall ball @ 20lbs
10:30 (uggghhh -- harder than expected)

It's coming . . .

2009-08-19T20:10:00.000-07:00

It's getting dark before 9:00. The nights are cooler. The Avy Center Party is less than a month away.

Winter is coming.

Tonight's "fun"
Dead lifts
20 @ 190lbs

Then

5x3 of push presses
135/140/145/150(F)/145(1)/140

Then

6 x 400ish sprints (to the hydrant and back)
1:27, 1:32, 1:35, 1:36, 1:40, 1:40

Best Day of Summer . . .

2009-08-17T19:28:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize that today would be the Best Day of Summer until I got the mail.

Insurance bill, junk mail, magazine . . . wait a minute . . .

Yahoo!

DISCLAIMER: I can already feel people getting all wound 'round the axle about the fact that this post implicates that my wedding, your wedding, a birth, true love found, etc. is not or will not be the best day of Summer 2009. Relax. This is meant to be humorous. At least for the skiers.

Today's "fun"

A.M.

Alternate jump rope singles and sit ups for consecutive sets lasting 2 minutes, 90 seconds, 1 minute, and 30 seconds.

P.M.

The 20 rep train continues, sort of. I repeated last Monday's weights.

Back squats: 20 @ 145 lbs

Dead lifts: 20 @ 185 lbs

Muddy Waters in my head . . .

2009-08-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

I got my mojo working. . .

Things are starting to click again. The cool temps are helping my sleep and general attitude and I'm finally re-engaging with my workload at the firm. I even slipped back into the gym a few days early. Long periods of rest are overrated.

Friday
Some skillz work on the Sotts press and the overhead squat
Then
Rowing intervals: 20 rounds of 10 seconds on, 5 seconds off
1236 meters total
Then
10 minutes of heavy sandbag get ups

Saturday
Rest

Sunday
Trail run with some folks from the gym. We spent about 75 minutes criss-crossing the Shoreline Trail between Terrace Hills and Dry Creek. My feet are tired, so it worked.

Pressing the pause button.

2009-08-11T20:28:00.000-07:00

For a couple of months now, my bed times have been getting later and I've been having trouble dragging my ass out of bed in the morning. My sleep has sucked and I've felt generally s-l-o-w. After consulting with the boys at the gym to make sure I'm not acting like a total sally, I've decided to take some time off.

So for the next five days, type II fun is verboten. I'm going to ride my bike, drink some beers, and try not to take myself too seriously. What I do for a living makes it challenging to relax, but I'm hoping a few sessions on The Turner and a couple gallons of whole milk will get me back on track.

Saturday's "Fun"
I ran the Jupiter Peak Steeplechase with The Wee One. 16 miles and a boring 3000' of ascent led to a legitimately fun descent. Catching seven people in the last four miles made us feel like champs. 4:01:55

Sunday
Brunch at Pago, lunch and a couple of Stellas at Silver Fork Lodge, and dinner at Este. The Wee One and I mixed in a recovery WOD at Planet Fatness.

Monday
A.M. WOD:
4x800m, rest as needed in between
3:07, 3:15, 3:22, 3:14

P.M. WOD:
20 squats @ 145lbs
20 dead lifts @ 185lbs

Tonight
I paced around the gym for 45 minutes thinking I'm really tired. Edwin finally suckered me into doing something of value.
50 20lb ball cleans/slams
3:45

Bad Idea Jeans

2009-08-06T10:17:00.000-07:00

I just registered for the Mid Mountain Marathon.

But aren't you spending the week before on a beach in Sayulita?

Totally.

Back on the wagon . . .

2009-08-06T08:58:00.000-07:00

'cuz I fell off in a big way yesterday. "I'll work until six and then go home and rest up" turned into "I'll have some drinks at Bambara and then head to Em's for dinner." Delicious, but bad bad bad in terms of race prep.

I got my shit back together this morning. The Wee One and I headed to the gym and did two rounds, not for time, of:
10 GHD sit ups
10 hip extensions
10 pull ups
10 bench press @ 95lbs
10 KB swings @ 53lbs
400m jog
Hip mobility drill

I felt great as I left the gym -- loose, rested -- and now I feel like I've been shot with a frickin' tranquilizer dart. Lately my office is my kryptonite.

Tapering . . .

2009-08-04T19:59:00.000-07:00

Sort of. I didn't do Fight Gone Bad (shiver). Instead, I kept the 20 rep train rolling and added a little spice at the end to keep myself honest.

Tonight's "fun"
20 squats @ 140 lbs
20 dead lifts @ 180 lbs

Then

4 rounds for time of
400m run
10 pull ups
11:18

Moose-a-palooza

2009-08-03T11:36:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, The Wee One and I hiked/ran the course for the Jupiter Peak Steeplechase. Between getting lost, found, lost again -- and dodging LOTS of meese and their young above 8000' -- we managed to finish the course well under the five hour cut off time. The effort for the day was ~16 miles and ~3000' of elevation gain in 4 hours 35 minutes.

A good example of why wildlife photographers do not use the iPhone.

I spent Sunday trying to re-hydrate and re-fuel from Saturday's effort. Drinking "free" wine and baking in the sun at The Taste of the Nation did not help the cause.

Today my back is tight and my legs are tired. I'm trying to work up the nerve to head to the gym tonight -- I need to squeeze in some squats and dead lifts before the race this weekend -- and it's not looking good . . .

P.M. Update:
I made it to the gym . . .
Farmer's carry with 2x53lb KB's
3:18

Then
500m row
1:34.1 (PR by .1 seconds -- yahoo)

Then
Annie (sub'd 3xsingles for each double under)
14:00 (holy crap that is slow)

Type II Fun

2009-07-31T09:10:00.000-07:00

The fun to "fun" imbalance continues.

Yesterday's "fun"
20 squats @ 135 lbs
20 dead lifts @ 175 lbs

Then

7 rounds of . . .
7 burpees
7 medicine ball cleans @ 20lbs
10:08

Today's "fun"
5x1 of strict presses (115/115/120F/120F/115)
5x3 of push presses (125/130/135/140/145)
5x5 of push jerks (145/145/145)

Small Matters = Big Problems

2009-07-28T19:30:00.000-07:00

The firm is crushing me. The big case I'm on continues to expand, and the little matters that I have been ignoring are threatening to become a source of angry clients and bad feedback. I've been resisting the need to work late nights, but I can resist no longer. The coffee is brewing. This is gonna be ugly.

Tonight's WOD:
With a continuously running clock do one 115lb squat clean and jerk the first minute, two the second minute, three the third minute . . . continuing as long as you are able.
Failure in the sixth minute

Monday's WOD:
20 squats @ 130lbs
20 dead lifts @ 170lbs

Then

2000m row
7:33.2

Fall from Grace.

2009-07-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

WOD: for time . . .
30 clean & jerks @ 135lbs
8:45 (first time rx'd)

Slow -- really slow compared to this -- but a huge improvement nonetheless.

Then I had breakfast at The Royal Eatery. Never do this. The food is lame and you will leave feeling like you need a shower. Why did I eat there? Because it's Pioneer Day and I just didn't have the patience to drive to Sandy in order to cross State Street. Frickin' Pioneer Day.

Keeping it steady . . .

2009-07-23T13:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's WOD made me so sore that I woke up every time I rolled over while sleeping last night. I decided to take it easy today.

WOD: The 20 rep challenge continues . . .
20 squats @ 125 lbs
20 dead lifts @ 165 lbs

Then

1000m row for time
3:31.8

I'm effing starving.

2009-07-22T10:47:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to eat "right." No sugars, lots of lean protein, moderate amounts of whole grains. And what has that gotten me? A trip to the fucking tailor. My waist has lost an inch -- an inch I probably wanted to keep.

My strength keeps going up, for which I am grateful, but I wonder how much better I'd be doing if I ate A LOT more. Hell, it's worth a try, so for lunch I'll have a nice tuna salad sandwich -- that's right, you Zone fuckers, with mayo -- and I think I'll wash it down with a nice prime rib smoothie. Mmmmmm.

WOD: 10 rounds for time of
10 wall ball @ 20 lbs
10 toes to bar
29:20 -- Slooooow. Alex suspects I did 12 rounds instead of 10. Fine -- that's my excuse.

I knew this was coming . . .

2009-07-21T09:25:00.001-07:00

The reason I haven't been updating this p.o.s.? Because I have nothing but venom to spew.

It's the middle of summer, work is crushing me, my fun to "fun" ratio is all fucked up.

I just need to drag my ass to the gym, and then to the firm, and then keep repeating the cycle until it snows.

Everything will sort itself out when it snows . . .

Postscript:
The 20 rep squat/dead lift challenge continues. Yesterday I did the fourth round -- 20 squats at 120, 20 dead lifts at 160. Those numbers look so small, and yet they feel so very heavy.

Maximizing Type I Fun.

2009-07-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

I've been in a mental rut lately and I think I've finally figured out why: the ratio of Type II Fun to Type I Fun has been waaaay too high. Allow me to explain.

One of the seminal moments in my ill-fated infatuation with climbing was getting a poster autographed by Mark Twight, who wrote: It doesn't have to be fun to be "fun." Climbers know this well; skiers less so. As an aspiring skier who used to be an aspiring climber, I'm finely attuned to this distinction.

Fun in quotes -- Type II Fun -- is epitomized by The Wahsatch Steeplechase. I'm glad I did it. It was rewarding. It stressed me out and hurt like hell. It was "fun." Crossfit workouts fall into the same category, if they can be considered "fun" at all.

Fun without the quotes -- Type I Fun -- is epitomized by just about every day I ski Alta, or ski at all. They feel unabashedly good. They're life affirming. There is no need to qualify the experience.

There can be no Type I Fun without Type II Fun, especially for people like me who drive a desk for a living. If you chase having fun without committing to having some “fun,” you limit the scale of your future adventures and you may end up in the orthopedist’s office. Balance is important.

Lately, it's been a lot of "training" and not a lot of playing. It's time to even the scales a bit. Tinker with the ratio, if you will.

An Off Week in Review . . .

2009-07-12T11:52:00.000-07:00

Looking back, I now realize that The Friday Beatdown of two Friday's ago -- The Scientist's gnarly creation -- nearly killed me. I wasn't right all week, and it showed.

Saturday:
Rode the Wolverine Ridge Loop with The Wee One. Took it easy because my legs were smoked from the effing wall ball.

Sunday:
The Wee One went for a trail run in Park City while I curled up in a Starbucks and tried to ignore how shredded my shoulders felt.

Monday:
An ill-advised weight day involving strict presses, push presses, and push jerks. My last set was 5 x OUCH!

Tuesday:
Ran a mental health lap around Liberty Park. Began icing my shoulders with frozen peas.

Wednesday:
Began the 20 squat challenge, which The Ant has altered to include dead lifts as well.
Back squats: 20 x 105 lbs
Dead lifts: 20 x 145 lbs
Continued icing my shoulders.

Thursday:
Rest day. Shoulders had stopped aching. Well, in that case . . .

The Friday Beatdown:
This one was my creation. Everybody got worked and no one got hurt. Mission accomplished.
Hawaii Five Forever: AMRAP in 55 minutes, plus one round, of
400m run
5 squat cleans @ 135lbs
Wall ball @ 20lbs
5 KB swings @ 70lbs
5 box jumps @ 36"
10 rounds in 1:05:57

Saturday:
I was getting back on track. The Wee One and I double-teamed a heavy pull up workout and split 120 penalty burpees. Then I kept rolling with the 20 rep challenge.
Back squats: 20 x 110 lbs
Dead lifts: 20 x 150 lbs

Friday Beatdown.

2009-07-03T11:08:00.000-07:00

The tradition continued with a particularly nasty creation by The Scientist. I haven't recovered yet -- I need to use two hands to drink my coffee -- but hey, that's what I signed up for.

WOD: Complete the following for time
100 KB swings @ 70lbs
75 wall balls @ 20lbs
50 box jumps @ 24 inches
25 push jerks @ 135lbs
50 AbMat situps
75 left leg lunges
100 jump rope singles
3000m row
100 jump rope singles
75 right leg lunges
50 AbMat situps
25 push jerks @ 135lbs
50 box jumps @ 24 inches
75 wall balls @ 20lbs
100 KB swings @ 70lbs
1 hour 50 minutes 4 seconds

Weight day, with a bonus.

2009-07-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

Squat Cleans: Sets of one . .
115, 135, 155, 175, 180 (PR), 180, 185(M), 185(M)

Then

Row
10 x 100m, 30 seconds rest between efforts
Fastest row was 17.5, nothing slower than 20.0

Going to my happy place.

2009-06-30T21:44:00.000-07:00

Work is crushing me, the temperature is rising, and the air is turning to shit. Time to go to my happy place . . .

LASSEN.

5:00 a.m. never looked so good.

Someone had set a booter up the gut of the northeast face, which led directly to . . .

a sporty summit scramble. The climbing was easy. Not kicking off a rock onto your partner was hard. Thankfully, Tom didn't bean me with a piece of pumice.

Shasta has a dead dog on the summit. Lassen has a giant camo dildo. Volcanoes are full of surprises.

The first turn is always the hardest. Maintain whippet control, maintain whippet control . . .

The obligatory bumbling around to find the truck. Tom informed me that this is known as "getting volcanoed."

Off day.

2009-06-29T09:35:00.001-07:00

Too much drinking, too little sleeping, and too much driving over the last three days did little to help my power this morning. Or my sense of humor. Once again, I have nothing clever to say.

Crossfit Total: Sum of the best of three attempts of . . .
Back squat: 225/235(M)/235(M)
Shoulder press: 125(M)/125(M)/120(M)
Deadlift: 255/275/285(PR)
FAILURE.

Mixed Bag . . .

2009-06-26T07:09:00.001-07:00

I've been chasing my tail at the firm the last few days, in part because I'm headed to McCall, Idaho this weekend to attend a wedding. Generally, I hate weddings and love road trips. This weekend will be a mixed bag.

I need to hustle back down to SLC by Sunday evening to catch dinner with Dr. Off the Couch's mother and brother. Nothing is quite as fun as busting Dr. OTC's chops with the help of his family.

Boring Update:

Wednesday:
With a continuously running clock, one pull-up the first minute, two pull-ups the second, three pull-ups the third and so on until failure (11th minute)
Then, without rest, the same with strict presses @ 95lbs (4th minute)
Then, without rest, the same with burpees (10th minute)

Thursday:
Rest

Friday: "Nicole"
As many rounds as possible in 20 minutes of:
400m run
Max rep pull ups
7 rounds (12, 8, 7, 8, 10, 8, 4)

Then

Five rounds, not for time:
5 pistols per leg
5 heavy sandbag get ups per side

I have nothing clever to say.

2009-06-23T07:51:00.000-07:00

Weight Day:
Front Squats
135x3
155x3
175x3
185x3
195M
195x1 (PR)

Then

Pick up a 95lb barbell, and without racking it, perform:
Strict presses to exhaustion
Push presses to exhaustion
Push jerks to exhaustion
8/3/2

About 5 months to go . . .

2009-06-22T21:57:00.000-07:00

Ehhh. I'm over it. Bring back the snow. Yeah, yeah, today's weather was beautiful blah blah blah. Get real -- it has been pouring for weeks and it's gonna be 101 degrees in the blink of an eye. Let's get back to the season that matters.

Tonight's "Fun"
400 m run*
21 burpees, 21 squats, 21 sit ups
400 m run
15 burpees, 15 squats, 15 sit ups
400 m run
9 burpees, 9 squats, 9 sit ups
15:52
*My first four-hundo clocked at 1:16 -- slow in the grand scheme, but fast for me. I'll call it progress.

New Tradition . . .

2009-06-19T13:47:00.000-07:00

Jason has started a new tradition of Friday Morning Beatdowns and this morning was the inaugural event. Imagine that the trainers and some of the strongest clients from the gym got together to try and break themselves, and that they "blessed" me with an invitation to their party.

Recipe for abject failure? Oh, you betcha'.

Worth it? Absolutely. It was humbling, demoralizing, and inspiring all at the same time, and it'll pay off over time. . . if I don't break my back the way Sickle did.

Friday Morning Beatdown #1:
AMRAP in 60 minutes*
25 Calorie Row
15 Hang Power Cleans @ 95LBS
10 Push Press @ 115LBS
5 Back Squat @ 185LBS
5 Muscle Ups**
1 Deadlift @ 225LBS***
20 Ball Slams @ 20LBS
4 rounds in 1 hour 13 minutes-ish
* Everyone else -- except Sickle, who was sidelined in round 4 by a gnarly pull up disaster -- did ten rounds. Ten effing rounds!
** I managed 3 in the first round, 1 in the second, and 1 in the third. I sub'd 4 pull ups and 4 ring dips for the rest.
*** The rest of the crowd pulled 275lbs. Uugghhhh.

New Target . . .

2009-06-16T21:33:00.001-07:00

The Wee One and I have registered for the Jupiter Peak Steeplechase. It looks like a lighter version of the Wahsatch Steeplechase -- it's a little shorter, ascends less -- but looks can be deceiving. The rumor is that this race can be run -- actually run -- in its entirety. For most of us, that wasn't the case last weekend.

But the fun factor will be higher this time. This will be The Wee One's event and I'm just along for the ride. She gets to stress about training, about tapering, about meeting goals. I get to carry her water.

Tonight's fun: Work got in the way of a ride, so I went for a run.
3.6 miles
~1000' of elevation gain
34:40

Back to The Suck.

2009-06-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

I returned to the gym on Monday. I'd forgotten how "fun" it is.

WOD: "Nasty Girls"
Three rounds for time of:
50 squats
7 muscle ups*
10 hang power cleans @ 135lbs
26 minutes and change
* I managed 3 muscle ups in the first round, and 1 in the second. For each one that I missed, I sub'd 4 pull ups and 4 ring dips.

I'm not ready to completely re-engage with the daily Crossfit beatdown. If the weather holds, I'm going for a ride tonight.

Not bad . . . and I want a rematch.

2009-06-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

4:05:49

We ran the real course, which was awesome. I started slow, kicked it into gear on the climb up Black Mountain, and then my calves started cramping on the summit. Which was not so awesome. I tried everything I could to turn things around -- Gato, water, banana, more water, more Gato -- I would have given my kingdom for a few salty pretzels.

I moved pretty well for the first seven-ish miles of the descent from Smuggler's Gap. For the last two-ish miles, though, I couldn't run more than a few steps before both calves seized and I crumpled into an expletive-spewing ball of frustration.

Objectively, I'm "happy" with my time, especially given the cramping troubles. But I'm still frustrated. My goal was to finish strong and to run across the line. I didn't do it.

I WANT A REMATCH.

Coming into Rotary Park. Cramping at bay, for now. . .

The last three miles of City Creek Canyon. Things went pear-shaped shortly hereafter.

Enough already. Let's do this.

2009-06-12T13:12:00.000-07:00

I hate The Waiting. I don't know how to taper, so I just try to "take it easy" and "stay loose," all the while worrying that I'm losing fitness. And worrying about the rain.

The frickin' rain. We live in the desert, yet it has rained enough over the last two weeks to turn the course into a gooey mess. The race organizer has threatened to switch to the "contingency course," which is a mostly-paved 14 mile out-and-back in City Creek Canyon. L-A-M-E.

But the sun is shining right now, and it hasn't rained yet today. With a little luck, I'll be running the whole course tomorrow morning. Until then, I wait . . .

Wednesday:
Two laps in Memory Grove
Easy up
Tempo down

Thursday:
"Stay loose" WOD at the gym
sampler of pull ups, ring push ups, GHD sit ups, hip extensions, and hand stands

Friday:
Chant "don't rain, don't rain"

SHASTA in Ten Easy Steps, Part II.

2009-06-09T21:17:00.000-07:00

When last we left our heroes, they were skinning toward tree line and shaking their heads in disbelief of the beauty of the Hotlum-Wintun Ridge . . .

Step 5: Keep skinning. Ignore the dark clouds.

Hmmm. Time to put my ski pants on. . .

Step 6: Make camp on a pile of pumice at about 9000'. Marvel at the fact that Shasta casts a shadow on the earth as the sun goes down.

Home for about seven hours.

Yep, that's the shadow of Mt. Shasta on Eastern California.

Step 7: Wake up at 2:30 a.m., drink a protein shake, and start walking uphill. Quickly ditch the idea of climbing without headlamps and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Watch the sun rise and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Realize that your sense of distance and scale is totally fooked, 'cuz is everything is farther and higher than you think. And keep putting one foot in front of the other. Then, finally, top out at 14,162'.

Sunrise halfway up the Hottun snowfield.

About four feet to the left of this was a dead dog. On the summit of Mt. Shasta. I swear to God.

Step 8: Eat some ginger snaps and almonds, snap some dorky pictures, chat about the oddness of the dead dog, and then click into your skis. Ahhhhhh . . . now we're talking . . .

Steep sweetness on the headwall of the Wintun Glacier. Dr. Off the Couch in the gut.

The smooooov-ness of the Hottun snowfield. Soul-crushingly long to climb. Soul nourishing on the way down. Dr. Off the Couch is the speck just above the pumice fields, just left of center. Yeah, waaaaaaaay down there.

Step 9: After skiing 5000' of sweetness -- pure corn-like sweetness -- glide back into camp and pack up.

Dr. Off the Couch: 'nuff said.

Step 10: While descending below 9000', practice the lost art of back-seat skiing with a heavy pack on overcooked snow. Turn around, realize that you were on the summit less than two hours ago, and shake you head in disbelief of an unmitigated success.

Goddamn. We did it.

Progress.

2009-06-08T21:46:00.000-07:00

The effing rain derailed my plan to run some intervals in Memory Grove. So I went to the gym, more or less on a whim.

Crossfit Total: Sum of the best of three attempts of . . .
Back squat: 205/225(M)/225(PR)
Shoulder press: 105/115(PR)/125(PR)
Deadlift: 225/255/275
625 (35 lbs better than last time)

Fall from grace . . .

2009-06-08T08:48:00.001-07:00

The last few days have seen me go from the high of running most of The Steeplechase course to the low of nursing a nasty hangover with prescription drugs. Sometimes I wish I would keep things more moderate. Live in the middle, instead of at the edges.

Friday A.M.
Jason and I ran most of The Steeplechase course. I say "most" because we skipped the Memory Grove sections. It was a great training run, both mentally and physically. Jason bestowed some crucial wisdom about pacing and route finding on the way up, and then humbled me on the descent. All in all, it was about 14 miles and 4000' of vertical gain in slightly under four hours.

Friday P.M.
I went back to the gym for a recovery WOD. It was Jason's idea, and it worked like a charm.
Three rounds, not for time:
10 hip extensions
10 GHD sit ups
10 bench press @ 95lbs
10 pull ups
10 KB swings @ 53lbs

Saturday:
The fall from grace begins . . .
Wake up, rent jack hammer, run some other errands, lay on couch watching movies, attend the Salt Lake Art Center Gala. Which leads to after-hours at The Wild Grape. Which leads to after-after-hours at Laura's house. Which leads to . . .

Sunday:
Ugghhh. Wake up with a gnarly hangover. Take phenergan to quell the demons trying to crawl out of my gut. Use the jack hammer to remove the old sidewalk and concrete footings from my backyard. While hungover. Effing brilliant.

Let's get on with it.

2009-06-04T10:19:00.001-07:00

I have no idea how to taper before an event. Frankly, I'm not sure that I've been training hard enough lately to gain any benefit from tapering. I'm just trying to keep my legs fresh and loose. To that end, I lifted arms with Jason this morning and tried one of The Scientists's creations.

WOD: Pick up a 95lb barbell, and without racking it, perform:
Strict presses to exhaustion
Push presses to exhaustion
Push jerks to exhaustion
5/5/2, 4/4/2, 2/3/2 (those numbers got mighty small mighty quick)

Tomorrow morning, Jason, Scooter, and I are running most of the course. After hearing Dr. Off the Couch's horror stories, I'm looking forward to seeing what the descent from Black Mountain is really like.

Just like Goldilocks.

2009-06-03T21:30:00.000-07:00

I finally came to my senses and admitted that New Pair of Shoes #1 is too small. So back to REI they went.

And after a quick lap around Liberty Park this morning in New Pair of Shoes #2, I realized that they are too big. So back in the box they went, awaiting their return to Backountry.com.

Tonight I went to Salt Lake Running Co. -- which, let's be honest, is what I should have done in the first place -- and with minimal drama settled on New Pair of Shoes #3:
They're juuuust right.

SHASTA in Ten Easy Steps, Part I.

2009-06-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

Step one: Begin driving . . .

Frickin' Wendover.

Step 2: After arriving at The Rock House, realize that the smoke detector that is beeping is stuck behind a locked door. Pry the door off the hinges with a whippet and tear the batteries out of the detector. Begin getting your gear organized. . .

Check out the decorations. Classic rock LP's. Awesome.

Carefully organized, well balanced, everything ready to rock. That didn't last.

Step 3: Awake the next morning, get maps and summit permits, and drive towards the trailhead. Park 5.8 miles and about 2000' below the trailhead. Damn. Turn your carefully balanced pack into a total junkshow.

A lesson in too much shit on too small of a pack.

Step 4: After walking up the road for a mile or so, find some consistent snow and begin skinning directly towards the route. Get your first good luck at the Hotlum-Wintun Ridge, and shake your head in disbelief. This is gonna be incredible. . .

To be continued. . .

Boring update: Strength Day.

Overhead squats: 7 sets of 2. The best I could manage was 125x2, and 135x1. I'm definitely losing strength and shoulder flexibility.

Weighted pull ups: 3x35lbs, 3X53lbs, 3x53lbs, 2x53lbs, 2x53lbs. Holding steady.

The Steeplechase is gonna be ugly. . .

2009-06-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

but I think it'll go. I worked some downhill intervals tonight and my left foot went partially numb almost instantly. Other than that, I felt pretty good. If I can make it to the descent, I can gut out the rest.

If nothing else, my new shoes make me look fast. That said, if they continue tearing the skin off the tops of my toes, they're going back to Return Everything In sight.

Getting my ass kicked by chicks. . .

2009-05-31T19:19:00.001-07:00

First it was Cindy on Friday. That made it hard for me to raise my arms.

Then it was Kar-slam-en on Saturday.
50-40-30-20-10
Wall ball @ 20lbs
Ball slams @ 20lbs
16:23

My legs were shattered after that, so The Wee One and I rode an "easy" lap on the Glenwild Loop today. My legs still hurt.

Boring update.

2009-05-29T18:34:00.000-07:00

This is a very boring update. Honestly, the only reason I'm writing this is to keep track for myself. Move along. Nothing to see here.

WOD: "Cindy"
AMRAP in 20 minutes of
5 pull ups
10 push ups
15 squats
13 rounds (I did the first 6 rounds in 6 minutes. And then everything went sideways. Ehhh. Fuck it.)

Then

5 rounds of
10 back extensions
10 GHD sit ups

On the DL. . .

2009-05-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

That's the Disabled List, not the down low. My left foot is still fucked, but a little less so this morning. My toes don't tingle, and I can walk without a limp. Mostly.

After some highly technical telephone consultation with Dr. Z, I've decided to "rest" for a few days. But I can't rest for real, because (1) I'm a stressed-out prick right now, and (2) I'm trying to stay on track to finish The Steeplechase in two weeks. So...

It's low impact for me for a few days. Last night, I rode the Turner for a couple of hours. Tonight, I think I'll head to the gym for a date with Cindy. Tomorrow, I think breakfast with Karen might be the ticket. The Wee One and I are hoping to hit Flying Dog on Sunday.

Must keep moving...

FKNA!!

2009-05-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

I swear like a sailor. This is well known. In the last 24 hours, though, I've been a particularly prolific fuck-sayer. Here are three reasons:

1. EFFING PAGO!! There's a new restaurant and wine bar at 9th+9th -- yes, I said a wine bar at 9th+9th -- and it's fantastic. PAGO. Go there. The food is great, the people are great, and the prices are reasonable (for now...). I joked with the chef that "if you guys started doing brunch I would need a cot in the back." Heh heh. He looked at me sideways and muttered "we start brunch in two weeks."

2. MY EFFING LEFT FOOT hurts like hell. Somewhere along the way on the volcano trip I picked up an ailment in my left foot. It's not the blisters -- they're healing well -- this is something deeper, more structural. My latter three toes were a little tingly when I woke up this morning. After an ill-advised search of The Internets I am stressing that I have developed a Morton's Neuroma. I'm going to try to go for a loooong run today. We'll see how it goes.

3. AN EFFING LEAD PIPE connects my house to the City water line. The sprinkler crew let us in on that little secrect this morning. Lead?! WTF? Did I buy house in ancient Rome? I've already ordered a lead test kit for my tap water. The results of the test may explain my sneaking suspicion that I am getting dumber.

Lassen = Success.

2009-05-27T09:10:00.000-07:00

On Monday, Dr. Z and I skied Lassen. Like Shasta, it was an unmitigated success. About 6 hours car to car, climbed 4500', skied 4000'. We spent some time stumbling through pumice looking for the road -- in our ski boots -- and it just didn't matter. Lassen is fantastic. It's an Intermountain-style volcano if there is such a thing. Drive there, bootpack up 4000' of corn-ish snow, rip down, drink a Limonata. Perfect.

I'll get pics up this evening, if I don't get too tipsy at the official opening of Pago.

Today I'm trying to keep my wits about me as I re-engage at The Firm, re-worry about The Steeplechase, and catch up on The Usual.

Done and done.

2009-05-23T16:07:00.000-07:00

We did it. Skied the Hotlum-Wintun Ridge on Mt. Shasta from the summit. 24 hours car to car, 8500' of climbing, 7500' of skiing, and then a thousand vertical of bumbling around in the woods trying to find my truck.

More details and pictures to follow. I need a nap.

And here. . . we. . . go. . .

2009-05-22T11:28:00.000-07:00

Everything is packed. Map and summit permit secured. Time to begin the slog.

I will update tomorrow evening. With luck, it will be a glorious recount of a fine descent. No matter what, it will be a tale of a sports adventure.

It's time to get up close and personal...

You'd think I'd be better at this...

2009-05-19T12:40:00.000-07:00

This is not the first time that I have dealt with the crush of trying to get the hell out of town. You'd think I would remember that EVERYTHING takes twice as long as I expect -- assignments at work, gear prep -- everything. But I always forget, and the crush always arrives.

And then there's the giant question mark looming at the end of "how will my legs hold up to 7000' of climbing?" This is probably the strongest I have ever been -- sure, I've been lighter and faster on the bike before, but it came at a cost -- and still there's that little seed of doubt. Am I ready for this? We'll find out at 3:00 a.m. on Saturday when I start booting up this:

The triangular "ridge" right of the center rock band is the Hotlum-Wintun.

If all goes well, come Monday we'll make a run at Lassen Peak. From what I can discern from online trip reports and The Internets, Lassen is a very Wasatch-like tour: rise early, climb directly up, rip down, drink beer. Perfect.

And then there's Mount McLoughlin. Can we squeeze it in? Perhaps...

Boring "training" update:

Saturday:

Assemble planter boxes. Shovel lots of topsoil. Assemble sprinkler system. Try to remove sod from front lawn. Fail.

Sunday:

Mountain bike up Dry Creek, to the top of Bobsled, back down Dry Creek, and over to the Zoo. Get a sunburn.

Monday:

Run up Memory Grove, onto the Shoreline, to the top of I-Street, and then reverse it.

40ish minutes, as hard as I could maintain.

EUREKA!! I need to spend the next couple of weeks -- the last couple before The Steeplechase -- training the downhill run. First, it's A LOT more fun. Second -- and I should've clued in to this before now -- half the frickin' course is downhill. I don't care if I limp to the top of Black Mountain; I want to finish the descent strong.

When I return from NoCal, downhill intervals are the name of the game.

Just like a toddler...

2009-05-15T07:59:00.000-07:00

If it's possible to lose your temper while working out, I did it this morning. I'm not saying that it was a full blown tantrum . . . just that I may have thrown the bar down in frustration. And then kicked it. While swearing at the top of my lungs.

WOD: Nancy

5 rounds for time

400m run

15 overhead squats @ 95lbs

32:10 (junkshow)

I've got the anger. Now I need the superhuman strength to match. And the green skin. Definitely need the green skin.

What are the chances?

2009-05-14T07:40:00.000-07:00

As we all know, the url of this epic tome is:
http://upperlevelgumby.blogspot.com/
So, say you accidentally transpose the 's' and the 'p' -- what could possibly go wrong?. Well, you'll find yourself here:
http://upperlevelgumby.blogpsot.com/

A bible study site that uses "upper level gumby" in its url? WTF?! Hey, I'm all for bible study, and I obviously endorse the concept of the upper level gumby, but mixing the two . . . I don't know. It's kind of like eating a can of tuna with a layer of strawberry jam on top.

Wait, I actually do that. Never mind...

Boring "training" update:
Tuesday's WOD:
It was supposed to be a long run, but by the time I got to the top of Memory Grove, I realized that I'd left my tiger* in the truck. So I did another three laps up Memory Grove -- walk/jog back to the start -- as hard as I could muster without exploding. My legs hurt, so I think it worked.

Wednesday:
Legs and back were smoked. Slept in, ate lots, played with power tools in the back yard.

Today's WOD:
21 wall ball
21 deadlifts @ 175lbs
800m run
15 wall ball
15 deadlifts @ 175lbs
800m run
9 wall ball
9 deadlifts @ 175lbs
800m run
23:15
Then
Muscle ups: 1, 1, 1 PR
3 rounds of (10 pullups, 5 ring dips)

Just trying to keep up...

2009-05-12T08:09:00.001-07:00

The firm, training, working on the house -- it's all running full speed right now.

Boring "Training" Update:

Friday's WOD: Helen
3 rounds, for time, of (400m run, 21 KB swings @ 53lbs, 12 pull ups)
13:04 (Slow, but I did it rx'd, which is a first. I'd forgotten how hard it is.)

Saturday's WOD:
In teams of two, AMRAP in 20 minutes of:
10 wall ball, 10 burpees, 100 singles
14 rounds (The Wee One finished the last round with about 3 seconds to spare.)

Sunday's WOD:
Work on a brief.
Go to Lowe's.
Lame.

Monday's WOD:
Push jerks (115x3, 115x3, 135x2, 135x3, 145x2, 145x2, 145x3)
Deadlifts (4 sets of 10 @ 175lbs)
(Definitely need to do more deadlifts. Lots more. They've become a relative weak spot.)