Going to my happy place.

Work is crushing me, the temperature is rising, and the air is turning to shit. Time to go to my happy place . . .

LASSEN.

5:00 a.m. never looked so good.

Someone had set a booter up the gut of the northeast face, which led directly to . . .

a sporty summit scramble. The climbing was easy. Not kicking off a rock onto your partner was hard. Thankfully, Tom didn't bean me with a piece of pumice.

Shasta has a dead dog on the summit. Lassen has a giant camo dildo. Volcanoes are full of surprises.

The first turn is always the hardest. Maintain whippet control, maintain whippet control . . .

The obligatory bumbling around to find the truck. Tom informed me that this is known as "getting volcanoed."

Off day.

Too much drinking, too little sleeping, and too much driving over the last three days did little to help my power this morning. Or my sense of humor. Once again, I have nothing clever to say.

Crossfit Total: Sum of the best of three attempts of . . .
Back squat: 225/235(M)/235(M)
Shoulder press: 125(M)/125(M)/120(M)
Deadlift: 255/275/285(PR)
FAILURE.

Mixed Bag . . .

I've been chasing my tail at the firm the last few days, in part because I'm headed to McCall, Idaho this weekend to attend a wedding. Generally, I hate weddings and love road trips. This weekend will be a mixed bag.

I need to hustle back down to SLC by Sunday evening to catch dinner with Dr. Off the Couch's mother and brother. Nothing is quite as fun as busting Dr. OTC's chops with the help of his family.

Boring Update:

Wednesday:
With a continuously running clock, one pull-up the first minute, two pull-ups the second, three pull-ups the third and so on until failure (11th minute)
Then, without rest, the same with strict presses @ 95lbs (4th minute)
Then, without rest, the same with burpees (10th minute)

Thursday:
Rest

Friday: "Nicole"
As many rounds as possible in 20 minutes of:
400m run
Max rep pull ups
7 rounds (12, 8, 7, 8, 10, 8, 4)

Then

Five rounds, not for time:
5 pistols per leg
5 heavy sandbag get ups per side

I have nothing clever to say.

Weight Day:
Front Squats
135x3
155x3
175x3
185x3
195M
195x1 (PR)

Then

Pick up a 95lb barbell, and without racking it, perform:
Strict presses to exhaustion
Push presses to exhaustion
Push jerks to exhaustion
8/3/2

About 5 months to go . . .

Ehhh. I'm over it. Bring back the snow. Yeah, yeah, today's weather was beautiful blah blah blah. Get real -- it has been pouring for weeks and it's gonna be 101 degrees in the blink of an eye. Let's get back to the season that matters.

Tonight's "Fun"
400 m run*
21 burpees, 21 squats, 21 sit ups
400 m run
15 burpees, 15 squats, 15 sit ups
400 m run
9 burpees, 9 squats, 9 sit ups
15:52
*My first four-hundo clocked at 1:16 -- slow in the grand scheme, but fast for me. I'll call it progress.

New Tradition . . .

Jason has started a new tradition of Friday Morning Beatdowns and this morning was the inaugural event. Imagine that the trainers and some of the strongest clients from the gym got together to try and break themselves, and that they "blessed" me with an invitation to their party.

Recipe for abject failure? Oh, you betcha'.

Worth it? Absolutely. It was humbling, demoralizing, and inspiring all at the same time, and it'll pay off over time. . . if I don't break my back the way Sickle did.

Friday Morning Beatdown #1:
AMRAP in 60 minutes*
25 Calorie Row
15 Hang Power Cleans @ 95LBS
10 Push Press @ 115LBS
5 Back Squat @ 185LBS
5 Muscle Ups**
1 Deadlift @ 225LBS***
20 Ball Slams @ 20LBS
4 rounds in 1 hour 13 minutes-ish
* Everyone else -- except Sickle, who was sidelined in round 4 by a gnarly pull up disaster -- did ten rounds. Ten effing rounds!
** I managed 3 in the first round, 1 in the second, and 1 in the third. I sub'd 4 pull ups and 4 ring dips for the rest.
*** The rest of the crowd pulled 275lbs. Uugghhhh.

New Target . . .

The Wee One and I have registered for the Jupiter Peak Steeplechase. It looks like a lighter version of the Wahsatch Steeplechase -- it's a little shorter, ascends less -- but looks can be deceiving. The rumor is that this race can be run -- actually run -- in its entirety. For most of us, that wasn't the case last weekend.

But the fun factor will be higher this time. This will be The Wee One's event and I'm just along for the ride. She gets to stress about training, about tapering, about meeting goals. I get to carry her water.

Tonight's fun: Work got in the way of a ride, so I went for a run.
3.6 miles
~1000' of elevation gain
34:40

Back to The Suck.

I returned to the gym on Monday. I'd forgotten how "fun" it is.

WOD: "Nasty Girls"
Three rounds for time of:
50 squats
7 muscle ups*
10 hang power cleans @ 135lbs
26 minutes and change
* I managed 3 muscle ups in the first round, and 1 in the second. For each one that I missed, I sub'd 4 pull ups and 4 ring dips.

I'm not ready to completely re-engage with the daily Crossfit beatdown. If the weather holds, I'm going for a ride tonight.

Not bad . . . and I want a rematch.

4:05:49

We ran the real course, which was awesome. I started slow, kicked it into gear on the climb up Black Mountain, and then my calves started cramping on the summit. Which was not so awesome. I tried everything I could to turn things around -- Gato, water, banana, more water, more Gato -- I would have given my kingdom for a few salty pretzels.

I moved pretty well for the first seven-ish miles of the descent from Smuggler's Gap. For the last two-ish miles, though, I couldn't run more than a few steps before both calves seized and I crumpled into an expletive-spewing ball of frustration.

Objectively, I'm "happy" with my time, especially given the cramping troubles. But I'm still frustrated. My goal was to finish strong and to run across the line. I didn't do it.

I WANT A REMATCH.

Coming into Rotary Park. Cramping at bay, for now. . .



The last three miles of City Creek Canyon. Things went pear-shaped shortly hereafter.

Enough already. Let's do this.

I hate The Waiting. I don't know how to taper, so I just try to "take it easy" and "stay loose," all the while worrying that I'm losing fitness. And worrying about the rain.

The frickin' rain. We live in the desert, yet it has rained enough over the last two weeks to turn the course into a gooey mess. The race organizer has threatened to switch to the "contingency course," which is a mostly-paved 14 mile out-and-back in City Creek Canyon. L-A-M-E.

But the sun is shining right now, and it hasn't rained yet today. With a little luck, I'll be running the whole course tomorrow morning. Until then, I wait . . .

Wednesday:
Two laps in Memory Grove
Easy up
Tempo down

Thursday:
"Stay loose" WOD at the gym
sampler of pull ups, ring push ups, GHD sit ups, hip extensions, and hand stands

Friday:
Chant "don't rain, don't rain"

SHASTA in Ten Easy Steps, Part II.

When last we left our heroes, they were skinning toward tree line and shaking their heads in disbelief of the beauty of the Hotlum-Wintun Ridge . . .

Step 5: Keep skinning. Ignore the dark clouds.

Hmmm. Time to put my ski pants on. . .

Step 6: Make camp on a pile of pumice at about 9000'. Marvel at the fact that Shasta casts a shadow on the earth as the sun goes down.

Home for about seven hours.

Yep, that's the shadow of Mt. Shasta on Eastern California.

Step 7: Wake up at 2:30 a.m., drink a protein shake, and start walking uphill. Quickly ditch the idea of climbing without headlamps and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Watch the sun rise and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Realize that your sense of distance and scale is totally fooked, 'cuz is everything is farther and higher than you think. And keep putting one foot in front of the other. Then, finally, top out at 14,162'.

Sunrise halfway up the Hottun snowfield.

About four feet to the left of this was a dead dog. On the summit of Mt. Shasta. I swear to God.

Step 8: Eat some ginger snaps and almonds, snap some dorky pictures, chat about the oddness of the dead dog, and then click into your skis. Ahhhhhh . . . now we're talking . . .

Steep sweetness on the headwall of the Wintun Glacier. Dr. Off the Couch in the gut.

The smooooov-ness of the Hottun snowfield. Soul-crushingly long to climb. Soul nourishing on the way down. Dr. Off the Couch is the speck just above the pumice fields, just left of center. Yeah, waaaaaaaay down there.

Step 9: After skiing 5000' of sweetness -- pure corn-like sweetness -- glide back into camp and pack up.

Dr. Off the Couch: 'nuff said.

Step 10: While descending below 9000', practice the lost art of back-seat skiing with a heavy pack on overcooked snow. Turn around, realize that you were on the summit less than two hours ago, and shake you head in disbelief of an unmitigated success.

Goddamn. We did it.

Progress.

The effing rain derailed my plan to run some intervals in Memory Grove. So I went to the gym, more or less on a whim.

Crossfit Total: Sum of the best of three attempts of . . .
Back squat: 205/225(M)/225(PR)
Shoulder press: 105/115(PR)/125(PR)
Deadlift: 225/255/275
625 (35 lbs better than last time)

Fall from grace . . .

The last few days have seen me go from the high of running most of The Steeplechase course to the low of nursing a nasty hangover with prescription drugs. Sometimes I wish I would keep things more moderate. Live in the middle, instead of at the edges.

Friday A.M.
Jason and I ran most of The Steeplechase course. I say "most" because we skipped the Memory Grove sections. It was a great training run, both mentally and physically. Jason bestowed some crucial wisdom about pacing and route finding on the way up, and then humbled me on the descent. All in all, it was about 14 miles and 4000' of vertical gain in slightly under four hours.

Friday P.M.
I went back to the gym for a recovery WOD. It was Jason's idea, and it worked like a charm.
Three rounds, not for time:
10 hip extensions
10 GHD sit ups
10 bench press @ 95lbs
10 pull ups
10 KB swings @ 53lbs

Saturday:
The fall from grace begins . . .
Wake up, rent jack hammer, run some other errands, lay on couch watching movies, attend the Salt Lake Art Center Gala. Which leads to after-hours at The Wild Grape. Which leads to after-after-hours at Laura's house. Which leads to . . .

Sunday:
Ugghhh. Wake up with a gnarly hangover. Take phenergan to quell the demons trying to crawl out of my gut. Use the jack hammer to remove the old sidewalk and concrete footings from my backyard. While hungover. Effing brilliant.

Let's get on with it.

I have no idea how to taper before an event. Frankly, I'm not sure that I've been training hard enough lately to gain any benefit from tapering. I'm just trying to keep my legs fresh and loose. To that end, I lifted arms with Jason this morning and tried one of The Scientists's creations.

WOD: Pick up a 95lb barbell, and without racking it, perform:
Strict presses to exhaustion
Push presses to exhaustion
Push jerks to exhaustion
5/5/2, 4/4/2, 2/3/2 (those numbers got mighty small mighty quick)

Tomorrow morning, Jason, Scooter, and I are running most of the course. After hearing Dr. Off the Couch's horror stories, I'm looking forward to seeing what the descent from Black Mountain is really like.

Just like Goldilocks.

I finally came to my senses and admitted that New Pair of Shoes #1 is too small. So back to REI they went.

And after a quick lap around Liberty Park this morning in New Pair of Shoes #2, I realized that they are too big. So back in the box they went, awaiting their return to Backountry.com.

Tonight I went to Salt Lake Running Co. -- which, let's be honest, is what I should have done in the first place -- and with minimal drama settled on New Pair of Shoes #3:
They're juuuust right.

SHASTA in Ten Easy Steps, Part I.

Step one: Begin driving . . .

Frickin' Wendover.

Step 2: After arriving at The Rock House, realize that the smoke detector that is beeping is stuck behind a locked door. Pry the door off the hinges with a whippet and tear the batteries out of the detector. Begin getting your gear organized. . .

Check out the decorations. Classic rock LP's. Awesome.


Carefully organized, well balanced, everything ready to rock. That didn't last.

Step 3: Awake the next morning, get maps and summit permits, and drive towards the trailhead. Park 5.8 miles and about 2000' below the trailhead. Damn. Turn your carefully balanced pack into a total junkshow.

A lesson in too much shit on too small of a pack.

Step 4: After walking up the road for a mile or so, find some consistent snow and begin skinning directly towards the route. Get your first good luck at the Hotlum-Wintun Ridge, and shake your head in disbelief. This is gonna be incredible. . .

To be continued. . .

Boring update: Strength Day.

Overhead squats: 7 sets of 2. The best I could manage was 125x2, and 135x1. I'm definitely losing strength and shoulder flexibility.

Weighted pull ups: 3x35lbs, 3X53lbs, 3x53lbs, 2x53lbs, 2x53lbs. Holding steady.

The Steeplechase is gonna be ugly. . .

but I think it'll go. I worked some downhill intervals tonight and my left foot went partially numb almost instantly. Other than that, I felt pretty good. If I can make it to the descent, I can gut out the rest.

If nothing else, my new shoes make me look fast. That said, if they continue tearing the skin off the tops of my toes, they're going back to Return Everything In sight.